An Ode to Awkward Run-ins With Old Classmates
I hate to admit it, but I miss awkward run-ins.
I’m sure I’ll regret typing this in a few months, but the temporary loss of these random social encounters has had me looking back on past run-ins like its a sepia-toned slide show to the soundtrack of Sarah McLachlan’s “I Will Remember You.” I know this is an unpopular opinion, but there’s nothing like a surprise run-in with a past acquaintance to just give you a nice adrenaline rush during an otherwise ordinary day. You’re just minding your business, getting a Skinny Vanilla Cold Brew at Starbucks and BOOM- throwback Thursday’s suddenly happening on a Tuesday. The world must have really gone to shit if I think of panic attack inducing run-ins — especially those with old classmates — with such fondness.
In my opinion, the only thing worse than running into a high school classmate is running into an elementary school classmate. I have several personal reasons for this: for example, I legitimately do not know what happened to the majority of my high school classmates. I’m genuinely curious about their lives and what they’ve been up to since high school- that’s a conversation I’m at least a bit interested in having. Meanwhile, everyone from my elementary school class stayed in each other’s social circles (while I erased myself from that narrative). If I want to know what happened to an elementary school classmate, I can easily find them on Instagram through one account or another (I’m not a stalker- they’ve just made it that easy). If I wanted to find anyone from high school, I’d probably have to hire Nev and Max from Catfish.
Aside from this reasoning, there’s no worse feeling than being asked to recall a happy elementary school memory in your mid-twenties on the spot in a public place. That’s like being asked to solve 2367 x 4758 without a calculator during Final Jeopardy: the late great Alex Trebek would have never allowed such a thing! Also- who looks back at elementary school thinking it was such a great time? No one is ever in their prime between the ages of 5 and 12- everyone is peeing their pants, making imaginary friends, and wearing strange clothing. Elementary school is truly a child’s first foray into the real world: not only are they learning A LOT of essential skills for the first time, they’re also given an unwelcome introduction to just how awful people can be.
When you run into someone you haven’t seen since childhood, they seem to make more effort than usual to be polite, as if to scream in your face, “look, I know how to be an adult now!” Suddenly, they seem very interested about what you’re doing with your life and how you’re feeling, when deep down, all you can remember is when they once called you a nincompoop in grade one and ran away. You remember this vividly because your mom loves to remind you about how they (i.e. their mom) wrote you an apology note that is still saved somewhere at home because it was just too cute. You stand in the coffee shop with a smile plastered on your face, yet while they tell you how they’re working 18-hour days at a law firm, you know they’ll always be the fucker who made you cry all the way to the guidance counsellor (who would only lecture you — with puppets — on how to deal with angry feelings).
This sparks a feeling of personal gratification that makes every awkward encounter so worth the few minutes of discomfort. There’s something magical that happens once you’re a fully realized adult who’s secure in themselves and proud of the imperfect choices they’ve made. You develop a sort of kryptonite that makes these encounters not only bearable but worthwhile, at least for a good story to share with friends and family. You leave feeling vulnerable and probably physically tense, but also immensely proud of yourself. I miss that feeling, that little rush that makes you take on the rest of your day with confidence. You may not be a lawyer, but you’re a superhero in your own way because you are a grown ass adult who can get through awkward moments - not everyone can do that.
I know this is not the only means of personal gratification needed to survive. No one should ever want — or ever should ever need — to rely on classmate run-ins for an adrenaline rush or confidence boost. It’s just that the post-run in feeling is unique, kind of like a runner’s high. The nincompoop on the other side most likely feels it too.
I know they’re probably having a hard time during this pandemic too, missing the social interactions that made elementary school (and hopefully their life today) so special. I wish them well and I hope they’re safe. When it’s time for me to get my first Cold Brew next summer, I hope to see them in line.
